#anytime i start learning more about anything it makes me want to metaphorically flip the table

[skitskatdacat63]

I wish I didn't get myself so deep into history lately, it makes me want to completely derail the path I'm on rn AAAGHHHHHHHHH

[amwritesitall]

Sally McKenna Playlist

Masterlist

I listen to this playlist so much it’s just ahh. As of the time I’m writing this, this bad boy is almost exactly 3 and a half hours long

Occasional little blurbs under the songs that are... interesting

Playlist link

“R U Mine?” by Arctic Monkeys

I go crazy 'cause here isn't where I wanna be And satisfaction feels like a distant memory And I can't help myself, all I Wanna hear her say is "Are you mine?" Well, are you mine?

How could I not put some Arctic Monkeys for Sally. They scream Sally vibes.

“The Cult of Dionysus” by The Orion Experience

I'm feeling devious You're looking glamorous Let's get mischievous And polyamorous Wine and women and wonderful vices Welcome to the cult of Dionysus

At first this song might seem a little weird, but it is quite the banger once you get into it

“I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don’t Want To Die” by Waterparks

I miss having sex but at least I don't wanna die anymore And I think that's pretty cool I miss seeing the red on your face when I made you blush, hey But I think it's fine, it's cool

This song is such a mood I can’t even. 

“summer depression” by girl in red

Pretty face with pretty bad dreams No one knows i cry in my sleep Waking up feeling like shit It's a normal thing to feel like this

I don't care I'm feeling down I wanna stay home Never go outside Summer depression comes every year I just want to disappear

Do you listen to girl in red because I sure do

“OK” by Wallows

I'm getting too close You say you love me most It's hard to trust it even though I want to Need to get this shit out of my head Before I flip this on myself instead

I’m in an unofficial girl band called Sugar Tits and this is one of the songs we’re going to cover. I feel like Sally would appreciate this.

“505″ by Arctic Monkeys

I'm going back to 505 If it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive In my imagination you're waiting, lying on your side With your hands between your thighs

Stop and wait a sec Oh, when you look at me like that, my darling What did you expect? I probably still adore you with your hands around my neck Or I did last time I checked

This song SCREAMS Sally and I stand by that

“Gold Dust Woman - 2004 Remaster” by Fleetwood Mac

Did she make you cry Make you break down Shatter your illusions of love And is it over now do you know how Pick up the pieces and go home.

I can’t not put a Fleetwood Mac song

“Dontmakemefallinlove” by Cuco

I don't think I'm meant to be with you I don't wanna make you sad All the time just feeling bad Girl, don't make me fall in love with you I don't think I'm right for you I'm just disappointing you

Angsty Sally not feeling good enough

“Prom Queen” by Beach Bunny

Teach me how to be okay I don't want to downplay my emotions They say beauty is pain You'll only be happy If you look a certain way

Sally vibes, man

“3 Nights” by Dominic Fike

Three nights at the motel Under streetlights In the city of palms Call me what you want, when you want, if you want And you can call me names if you call me up

Hotel Cortez love affair with our girl Sally

“Marlboro Nights” by Lonely God

I don't wanna go to school tomorrow I can't study Thinking about you And you know I always do I don't wanna go to sleep tonight when I can stay up Thinking about you And you know I always do

This is teen Sally and it is not up for debate

“Paper Thin Hotel” by Matt Maltese

I listened to your kisses at the door I never heard the world so clear before You ran your bath and you began to sing I felt so good I couldn't feel a thing I stood there with my ear against the wall I was not seized by jealousy at all In fact a burden lifted from my soul I learned that love was out of my control

A lot of these songs I have cried to and thinking about angsty Sally makes it even harder not to cry. Picture poor Sally being trapped in the Cortez and having to witness someone she love be with another person. How can you not be sad thinking about that?

“Lonely Eyes” by The Front Bottoms

You've got me stuck to where I'm sittin' Lookin' at your eyes And I know I'm so pathetic I wouldn't move to save my life And they tell me that you're lonely It's no surprise When you walk around all day wearing those Lonely, lonely, lonely eyes

Lonely bb

“me & ur ghost” by blackbear

I'm not alone It's just me and your ghost And this cripplin' depression I thought I learned my lesson But, I threw out my phone And I burned all your clothes And now I'm not alone It's just me and your ghost

You could take this literally or metaphorically. I’d argue that it works either way.

“Cigarettes On Patios” by BabyJake

I was smoking cigarettes on patios I was throwing money in the air Maybe I should pick that shit back up Bet my night on love Here we go again

This song is extremely repetitive, but the vibe fits.

“Sex n’ Drugs” by Abhi The Nomad

Born faceless Please save me My soul's tainted It's how I've been born I've worn patience Please save me I'm more tasteful than ever before

Sally’s theme song and overall lifestyle

“Foreplay” by Jalen Santoy

First they tell you that they love you Then they ask where you coming from Like you the only one feeling how you feeling Then you lie just to make it sound appealing

I love you The things that cross my mind while I'm by myself I hate you These things go through my mind while I'm by myself I fuck you These things run through my mind while I'm by myself Well fuck you It's always on my mind, think I need some help

Find me vibin’ to this. Sally dealing with fake ass bitches.

“hot girl bummer” by blackbear

Fuck you, and you, and you I hate your friends and they hate me too I'm through, I'm through, I'm through This that hot girl bummer anthem Turn it up and throw a tantrum

Hot girl summer Sally

“1 SIDED LOVE” by blackbear

You're too busy talking over me to hear what I'm saying You're too high to realize I see Through the smile that you're faking You're so into yourself Everyone else is overrated And everything's changing Is your heart worth breaking?

I could cry to this. Actually now that I think about it, I have cried to this and Sally would too.

“Easier” by 5 Seconds of Summer

Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go? I don't wanna know, oh But I know that I'm never, ever gonna change And you know you don't want it any other way

An angry vibe

“Wrong” by Ally Hills

I can't keep on living with a delicate mind If I make a coffee, can we act like we're fine? When we were tangled in the sheets And waking up in our bed 'Cause now you strangle me in my sleep And I wake up with you in my head

Oh oh Oh oh I thought you loved me

A sad post break up vibe

“Space” by Ally Hills

You don't even care that my clothes aren't there. You needed the hanger space. You don't even mind 'cause you don't waste time Filling in all the blanks.

I wish you were sad for a day so you would know how it tastes to be lonely I wish you would stay in for a night to see what it's like fading slowly

Another sad post break up vibe

“Liability” by Lorde

Baby really hurt me Crying in the taxi He don't wanna know me Says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm Says it was poison So I guess I'll go home Into the arms of the girl that I love The only love I haven't screwed up She's so hard to please But she's a forest fire

Ok, but try to listen to this song while sad and not cry??? I could cry to this even if I’m not sad. It just comes on and I’m like “yeah bitch I am a liability.”

“All Girls Are The Same” by Juice WRLD

Ten minutes, she tell me it would take ten minutes To break my heart, oh no she didn't Fuck livin', I'ma drown in my sorrow Fuck givin', I'ma take not borrow And I'm still sinnin', I'm still losin' my mind I know I been trippin', I'm still wasting my time All the time given, am I dyin? Am I livin'? It's fuck feelings, my sorrow go up to the ceilin'

Heartbroken gal

“The Louvre” by Lorde

I am your sweetheart psychopathic crush Drink up your movements, still I can't get enough I overthink your p-punctuation use Not my fault, just a thing that my mind do

A rush at the beginning I get caught up, just for a minute But lover, you're the one to blame, all that you're doing Can you hear the violence? Megaphone to my chest

CRASHING INTO LOVE WITH RECKLESS SALLY

“Writer In The Dark” by Lorde

Break the news, you're walking out To be a good man for someone else Sorry, I was never good like you Stood on my chest and kept me down Hated hearing my name on the lips of a crowd Did my best to exist just for you

Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark Now she's gonna play and sing and lock you in her heart Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark

Angsty song writer Sally

“Sims” by Lauv

I wish that you and I lived in the Sims We could build a house and plant some flowers and have kids But we're both at some trashy Halloween party downtown And I'll probably never see you again I wish that we lived on a VHS I'd erase the things I said and that I'll probably say again Hit rewind on all the times I got lost in my head But I guess I'll never see you again I'll probably never see you again

Ok hang with me for a second here. Sally leaving the Cortez in her one night of freedom. She meets someone at a Halloween party and they hit it off, but she doesn’t think to get her contact information or anything, so she spends the next year thinking of seeing the mysterious girl again.

“Everybody Talks” by Neon Trees

It started with a whisper And that was when I kissed her And then she made my lips hurt I could hear the chit chat Take me to your love shack Mamas always gotta back track When everybody talks back

Sally can take me to her love shack anytime

“prom dress” by mxmtoon

I can't help the fact I like to be alone It might sound kinda sad, but that's just what I seem to know I tend to handle things usually by myself And I can't ever seem to try and ask for help

I'm sitting here, crying in my prom dress I'd be the prom queen if crying was a contest

The last line screams teenage Sally, but also Sally now too?

“i hope your whole life sux” by blackbear

The truth yeah, is I've been up for days on cocaine The truth is I've been up for days tryin' not to think about you I hope that I'm the reason that you can't sleep I hope that your whole life sucks without me The truth is I've been up for days thinkin' 'bout you

Unhealthy coping mechanisms from our favorite druggie

Please don’t do cocaine. Cocaine ruin yo brain.

“Teeth” by 5 Seconds of Summer

Some days, you're the only thing I know Only thing that's burning when the nights grow cold Can't look away, can't look away Beg you to stay, beg you to stay, yeah Sometimes, you're a stranger in my bed Don't know if you love me or you want me dead Push me away, push me away Then beg me to stay, beg me to stay

Spicy Sally

“Fuck Up” by Tana Mongeau

'Cause I'm a fuck up, and I'm so fucked up And all these voices in my head won't shut the fuck up 'Cause I'm a fuck up, and I'm so fucked up And it's 5 p.m. and I just woke the fuck up

This song is me, but also Sally. 

“hell is where i dreamt of u and woke up alone” by blackbear

I'm in need of moderation Nah, I need a fucking break 'Cause I just railed down enough lines tonight To spell your first and last name

And it's all because I dreamt of you And woke up alone What a wonderful tone To bring you back home

I don’t even do cocaine, but this shit strikes something within me

“Idfc” by blackbear

Tell me pretty lies Look me in the face Tell me that you love me Even if it's fake 'Cause I don't fucking care, at all

Just tell Sally you love her

“Weekend” by Club House

I know you always say that you're alright But then you want to talk on the low And if you wanna a break, baby we can Hit the rooftop all alone Let me make you smile, baby all night Fuck around maybe get stoned You know that we can do it every weekend But you just wanna talk on the low

Care free loving with Sally

“Supplier!” by Crisaunt

Baby girl All of this fighting got me tired All this love that you desire All this effort you require I cannot be your supplier

I’m pretty sure I put this on here for vibes

“Model Student” by Grady

Growing up, i got used to laughs Suddenly JanSport really had my back I came into the world an outcast I didn´t dress the same I didn´t act the same But the popular kids Peaked around 17 And the only peaking i did Was looking for a fuck to give

Sally doesn’t give a fuck

“Life Inside” by Verzache

My life inside Wish I could get out and go ride a bike Head in the wind, and know what it's like And wear my ones like we did all the time Please, don't remind me 'bout my life inside I waste on my phone, sleep most the time Wake up to texts from girls I used to like Try not to text back, the light hurts my eyes Smoke 'til I'm knocked out

Trapped in Hotel Cortez Sally

“Haunt You” by Social House

Better off this way but I want you, want you, want you Sometimes I just wanna fucking Call you, call you, call you Never thought something beautiful could Haunt you, haunt you, haunt you

Shout out to @make--your--life--spectacular​ for telling me about this song because it is really good and fits Sally’s vibes

“if i could i would feel nothing” by blackbear

Underneath it all the truth is that I Really feel like shit I'm so sick of being tired I'm so tired of being sick

Post breakup Sally

“Crash and Burn” by Marc E. Bassy

Girl, we got some dangerous minds Every time we bring them together Nothing can take us off this ride Maybe we'll crash and we'll burn together

Sally is a crash and burn together kind of gal

“STFU” by mansionz, Spark Master Tape

Shut the fuck up right now and let me breathe Shut the fuck up right now, let me do my thing Slow down, slow down, slow down Quit hitting my phone up, quit hitting my phone up Quit hitting my phone, slow down

Annoyed Sally vibes

“fuck, i’m lonely” by Lauv, Anne-Marie

Fuck, I'm lonely, I'm lonely, I'm lonely as Fuck, come hold me, come hold me, come hold me It's been me, myself, and why did you go, did you go? Oh, fuck, I'm lonely, I'm lonely, I'm lonely, lonely, 

I miss those nights when you would come over Spent all night just tryna get closer That was June and now it's October I don't want, don't wanna get over

Fuck, Sally’s lonely

“If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)” by The 1975

"Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes I'm not playing with you, baby I think that you should give it a go" She said, "Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes I wanna see, and stop thinking If you're too shy, then let me Too shy, then let me know"

Sally is the “she” you speak of

“Instead of My Room” by Charlie Burg

We are simpatico Don't wanna let you go I wanna get to know (I wanna go out and see the new Star Wars with you) Play me another song I want to sing along Give my a melody (I heard the Hunger Games wasn't as good as the book)

Teen vibes, but also parts of this are talking about music and music is definitely a love language for Sally

“pharmacy” by Isaac Dunbar

Mmm, hurt me I kind of developed a taste for it Mmm, hurt me I want the pain between my lips

Feed it to me softly From your purple and blue fingers Constricted to only you To whom I seem to linger See me climb too high You cut the vine you had to hinder me

Prescribe yourself to me You're the only remedy Have me begging on my knees You're my pharmacy

Sally is into this and you can’t tell me any differently

“Daze Inn - Acoustic” by Carlie Hanson

We spent last night trippin' at the Daze Inn Lost in time like we got on a spaceship Tell me all your dreams when you wake up Carry me from the pool to the bathtub

Daze Inn = Hotel Cortez

“Last Nite” by The Strokes

Last night, she said "Oh, baby, don't feel so down Oh, it turns me off When I feel left out" So I, I turned round Oh, baby, gonna be alright It was a great big lie 'Cause I left that night, yeah

V I B E S

“Lonely Times” by Hot Flash Heat Wave

Lemme tell ya a little story fresh out of my dormitory I didn't know where things were going City lights felt like drowning in the ocean Late nights lying in my bed with all these thoughts swimming through my head Lonely times drifting in my dreams, I feel alright when I'm drifting, I’m drifting

Sally reminiscing on her times before the Cortez

“blackboard.edu” by Arlie

Don't listen to me I just need a good night's sleepAnd you keep me up all night Can't talk right I'm fallin' in my clothes And even though I'm feeling like death I can't be upset 'Cause I finally know

If you can’t tell, I love teen AUs

“7PM” by Lilacs, Lizzy McAlpine

I'm losing my mind I'm reading the news for the hell of it I'm wondering if she's on your mind Losing track of time I'm learning to cook for the hell of it And I'm wondering if she's by your side Tonight

Trapped in the Cortez and can’t go out and be with anyone

“i’m so tired...” by Lauv, Troye Sivan

I'm so tired of love songs, tired of love songs Tired of love songs, tired of love Just wanna go home, wanna go home Wanna go home, whoa

Sick of them damn love songs

“So Alright, Cool, Whatever” by The Happy Fits

How could you ever really know? If you never look You don't know what you'll find I've got an effervescent glow If you'd show me all the dark parts of your mind.

I wanna be with you. I wanna be with you. I wanna be barely hangin' on. 

Sally falls HARD

“Kilby Girl” by The Backseat Lovers

I overheard that she was 19 with a fake ID and a nose ring Those kind of girls tend to know things better than I do And I'm dying to figure out what she's hiding She's playing it cool but she's lying, better than I do

TEEN SALLY

“New Girl” by FINNEAS

I wanna scratch your surface I wanna feel your groove I wanna be your needle I wanna lick your wound You wanna play with fire? Stick and poke tattoo? You wanna play, my new girl? I wanna play with you

The energy, the presence, the vibes

“Chicken Tenders” by Dominic Fike

We settled but it never felt right 'cause we can't keep still And we try to fight the way everything feels When we step out of line I met your gaze and it was love that we were makin' And she spoke a different language There was no need for translation And I ordered chicken fingers to my room, girl But we got some things to do first

This song is something that’s for sure

“no friends” by mazie

I don't have no fucking friends Don't have fun, I don't break hearts I don't have no fucking friends

If less is more then I'm doing the most I'm so bored, and I feel like a ghost I don't wanna smoke no more 'cause I'm broke And my window won't open God, my life is a joke

Sally is lonely and needs love

-

You might like:  Poems that Remind Me of Sally McKenna or Cordelia Goode Playlist

[thatlesbiannudistcult-stories]

Finding Goddess (Chapter Nine)

Monday arrived, and Carol had a feeling it was going to be a bad day.

She had no idea why. It seemed like any other Monday she had gone through. Country music would blare obnoxiously into her ear, and she would silence it with a forceful slam on the clock radio from whence it came. Then she'd get up, take a shower, fix herself a cup of coffee, brush her teeth, check her phone for messages, catch up on the news online, the usual. So far, so good, everything seemed pretty typical. So why couldn't she shake the feeling that something horrible was going to come crashing down on her?

Perhaps I forgot something? she mused, scratching her chin as she stared out the window lost in thought. It certainly seemed like something was missing...a light bulb winked on in her head. Oh, right, the garbage! That has to be it. Silly me!

Monday was the garbage day, both metaphorically and literally, and Carol had neglected to take hers outside the previous night. She had been too...absorbed in her book. Fortunately, there were plenty of other trash bags lying on the curb, which meant the truck hadn't arrived to pick them up yet. It wasn't too late. After tying her bag up, Carol hopped into her flip-flops and rushed out the door with the trash in hand. The warm summer air that hit her body was a strong contrast to the cooler conditioned air in her home, but she didn't have the time to marvel or groan at the sensation as she rushed to the street to deposit her trash.

A car drove by. In the corner of her vision, Carol noticed it abruptly slowed down and thought the driver did a double-take in her direction. In normal circumstances, she would have just ignored it and moved on, but a sudden honking of his horn forced her to look up just in time to watch him speed away. The mother blinked in confusion.

What was that about?

Across the street, another person rushed outside carrying a trash bag of his own, clearly having the same issue and idea that Carol had. However, upon glancing up in her direction, he stopped dead in his tracks and looked directly at her, his jaw falling to the ground. Confused, Carol just waved at him before turning away, her mind a big question mark.

Wonder what his problem was? Was there something on my face?

Idly, Carol pawed at her face to wipe off whatever had supposedly shocked her neighbor so much. Upon feeling nothing come off it, she decided to take a glance down to see if there was something weird elsewhere on her body. It didn't seem like there were any problems. Her skin was still a little red from the shower, and her bush could use a bit of a trim, but there wasn't really anything worth getting alarmed about—

Hold on a minute...skin? Bush?!

"CRAP!"

Carol practically warped back into her apartment, her every inch of bare skin coated in a fine layer of sweat.

She couldn't believe it! She went outside butt-naked and didn't even realize it! Just like Henrietta did the other day! It hadn't even occurred to her to put any clothes on.

"What the hell is WRONG with us?" she grumbled, trudging to her room to go get some things to put on, feeling more than a little sheepish.

If I hadn't forgotten to take out the trash...or if I hadn't remembered that I forgot to take out the trash...I might have never realized I hadn't dressed yet. I might very well have gone to work just like this!

Carol shuddered at the thought. She didn't care about people seeing her naked at all, but people seeing her forget to do something as fundamental as putting her clothes on? That kind of humiliation would have killed her!

Of course, now that the subject of clothes had fully entered Carol's mind, she now realized precisely why this was going to be such a rotten day. It meant that her nude streak had to finally come to an end and she had to do her least favorite thing in the whole world: dress herself. It was never an easy thing, and after spending three whole days in her perfect natural state, it would be especially hellish today. But she didn't have a choice; she had work today, and she had to be decent at the office.

So biting her lip, Carol set about the arduous task of covering herself. She did not bother putting on any underwear; she had sworn off bras and panties a long time ago and was perfectly happy to go commando. But that didn't mean she could skimp out on anything else. She had stockings to climb into to at least feign a sense of modesty, a white blouse with a built-in shelf bra to make sure her girls didn't bounce around too much, and a business skirt and blazer in matching shades of black to make her look professional. With the addition of her heels, some makeup, and a good combing of her hair, her look was complete.

Carol stared at her clothed self in the mirror and took it all in. She looked good, or at least she supposed she did in the eyes of the business world. Her suit was straight and unwrinkled. Her lips were glossy and red. Her black hair was sleek, shiny, untangled, and "like she just stepped off a spaceship" as her daughter, Mindy, would describe it. In short, she was the perfect image for the modern day businesswoman.

Carol could only sigh at it. She didn't want to look like the perfect modern day businesswoman! She didn't want this suit to look straight on her, she didn't want her lips to look so red, she didn't want her hair to be so tidy. She wanted to wrestle the whole ensemble off her body and hurl it to the ground. She wanted to latch onto the cutest person she could find and leave lip marks all over their skin. She wanted her hair to get tousled and tangled just to tell everyone that she was a wild girl who craved fun and excitement!

She wanted to live like those women who served the Goddess, Zenriah!

Unrestrained!

Free!

Naked!

She had spent a lot of time yesterday reading the Scripture, and those Zenrist girls of ancient times really had it made. It seemed like they didn't have to worry about a thing, save how they were going to get, or give, their next orgasm. Everything about their lives was all about enjoying their bodies and being in love. The thing that every girl would and should ever want. If ever there was an afterlife, Carol hoped it would be like that.

Uh, not that she believed there could ever be an afterlife. Let alone a paradise where women just lived completely naked and had sex with each other and a goddess all the time.

It sure would be nice though.

Carol turned away and marched out of the room, intent to get as far away from the mirror as possible. If she thought about it any longer, thought about her hatred of clothes, or Zenrists, or the book lying on her bed any longer, she might feel the urge to just rip her suit off right now and start masturbating. She already wasted enough time thinking about them.

***

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick...

Her fingers danced gracefully across her keyboard. Her eyes swung back and forth like pendulums across every word that flashed on her screen. Sentences were highlighted, underlined, and deleted with every scurrying motion of her mouse.

But inside her head, Carol was completely dead.

Yes, it was another droning day in the office, full of ennui, humdrum, and piles and piles of textual mush to slog through. Just like it had been last week. And the week before that, and the week before that.

Unfortunately, it was even worse today. Everything felt...tighter around Carol. More constraining. More claustrophobic. Like she was trapped in a cage built entirely around her whole body. Every now and then, she found herself absently tugging at her collar, pulling at her sleeve, or rubbing her legs together to loosen the fabrics closing in on her form, giving her skin a few precious seconds to breathe. But it wasn't enough.

Damn it, she cursed as she pulled at her blouse, which was making her feel especially itchy right around where her nipples were. This is what she got after spending such a long time without any clothes on. Her body always needed to take some time to get used to being wrapped up again, but it was really bad today. If it didn't let up anytime soon, she...she...she didn't even want to think about what would happen.

"Hey, Carol! Working hard, or hardly working?"

"Huh?" Carol half-gasped as she looked up to see just who had so rudely interrupted her anxiety. "Oh. Hi, Harold."

Harold beamed at her with that annoyingly friendly smile of his before he took a sip of his coffee. Though swallowing his drink caused that smile to mercifully flicker away, if only for a moment. "Bleck, coffee's especially bitter today," he said, pulling a retching expression before taking another sip.

"Then why are you drinking it?" said Carol, who decided she could use the small talk, if only to provide a distraction from her discomfort.

"Didn't get much sleep last night. Let's just say we ran into some car trouble on the way home from my son's grandparents that delayed us for...a little while," he grumbled, adding some unintelligible cursing under his breath.

"Is your car starting to break down?"

"No, the problem wasn't the car," Harold sighed, embarrassment starting to seep into his voice. "The problem was that...I couldn't get it out of the driveway." Upon saying that, he took another swig of his drink, doing so in a way that was far more fitting for a bottle of scotch than a mug of coffee.

"I...see," said Carol. "That must be quite the story."

"Yeah, one I could do without telling right now. But that's the story of my weekend. How was yours?"

Carol froze. Her weekend. That was the one thing she didn't want to think about right now. The one thing she couldn't afford to think about right now. Because if she did...she just might...

"It...was good," she stated robotically.

"You do anything fun?"

"Um..."

I spent three days straight totally, completely, and utterly naked? I walked around in public without a stitch of clothing on? I met some brilliant women and had sex with them? I learned about a crazy cult consisting of nudist lesbians?

"Uh, Carol? Are you okay?" said Harold as he waved a hand in front of her face.

"I...I..." she murmured. She needed to find something to say, something to satisfy her co-worker's curiosity, something that didn't involve her unclothed weekend hijinks. It wasn't an appropriate thing to bring up in the office after all...and it was once again making her feel tight all over as her yearning to return to that perfect state of being started to come back in full force.

Desperately, she darted her eyes toward every possible direction she could, hoping to find something to latch onto. She did, in the form of the little black mug in Harold's hands. "C...coffee."

"Excuse me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I...I went to New Deastone with a friend!" said Carol. "Yeah. A new coffee shop opened up there, and she wanted to check it out."

Yeah, that sounded good. She went to New Deastone over the weekend for "coffee." It was a good lie because it was completely true! She and Henrietta did stop by a coffee shop after all. And they had plenty of "coffee" on the way there. Hot, exotic, sexy, permanently naked coffee...

"Sounds like it was a pretty relaxing weekend for you then," said Harold. "I take it you're able to trust leaving your kids alone in the house?"

"Huh? Oh, Mindy and Erin? I didn't need to worry about them. They weren't home. They took a trip with their friends to Duny Beach. They'll be gone for the week." Already, Carol could feel her inner tensions ease up. She just dodged a bullet, and redirected the conversation to other matters. Matters that had nothing to do with sex or nudity. Her sanity was safe.

"Duny Beach, eh? That's nice this time of year. Oh, if only I could be in school again and enjoy these sweet summer vacations. Wouldn't mind catching some waves myself." Harold suddenly paused and furrowed his brow as a ponderous expression poured over him.

"What's going on?" said Carol. "Is something wrong?”

"No, no, nothing's wrong," said Harold. "It's just...I heard that they recently opened up some nude beaches there."

Carol froze again, so stiffly even her heart stopped. "What?"

"Yeah, there are nude beaches there. Or maybe just clothing-optional ones. But yeah, either way, there are places in Duny where you can just take it all off and run around in the altogether."

Take it all off. Carol really wanted to take it all off. Her clothes were beginning to close around her again. She could feel her blouse tightening around her neck, threatening to cut off her air. She tugged at her collar.

"Wh-what are you saying?" she stammered.

"I'm not saying anything," said Harold. "Just that, if your daughters aren't careful, they might find themselves out of their swimsuits. Especially if they're friends with some dirty little devils." He chuckled good-naturedly as he took another sip of coffee. "Don't be surprised if they come home flustered with some funny little stories they have no intention of telling you."

"Ha...yeah. I'll...keep that in mind," said Carol, speaking slowly so as to take long, deep breaths between her words. It was getting hard to breathe in her clothes. Hell, it was getting hard to exist in them. Her breasts were pressing so hard against the fabric of her top that it hurt. A strip of cloth was starting to drip in between her buttocks that they started to itch. Her legs felt so stiff that she unconsciously rubbed them together just to remind herself that they were not clamped within a vice. And the light scratching sound of her nylons grinding against each other was like nails on a chalkboard.

"Not that you need them to tell you anything," Harold continued. "You could probably find plenty of similar stories online. Would you believe that there actually exists this subgenre of fiction on the internet where people, usually women, lose their clothes and get stuck running around naked? It's the silliest thing ever. I would have never guessed such a thing existed if my son hadn't accidentally left a webpage to one open on his laptop. And all this time, I thought he wasn't one for reading. Shows how much I know about my own kid."

Things were getting really unbearable for Carol. Her vision was starting to blur. Her head was growing heavy on her shoulders. Her clothes were getting tighter all around her. If she didn't do something about them real soon, either they'd crush her body into a squishy mess, or her body would break them apart at the seams.

"I won't confront him about it, though. And I won't tell his mother either," said Harold. "It's just regular teenage curiosity. Not our business and we've talked about these things a lot with him in the past. But I have to wonder what he would actually do if he did find a girl like that? A girl who'd be willing to strip down and run around naked for him at a moment's notice."

"I gotta go!" Carol cried, shooting up to her feet so forcefully she blasted her chair straight into the wall.

"Oh, well, yeah, I guess I should too. Nice talking to you."

Carol paid him no mind as she rushed off as fast as her heels would allow. She knew it was rude to run off like that in the middle of a conversation, she knew she was likely drawing stares, but she couldn't help it. She had to get away, she had to hide, she had to find the one place in the entire office that would grant her sanctuary.

She found it as she all but ran through the door of the ladies room, causing a couple of women exiting it to leap to the side in surprise as she blazed past them.

"Whoa! What's got into her?" said one.

"She must've had Mexican for breakfast."

Carol ignored them as she dove into one of the toilet stalls, thankful to see they were all empty and clean. Upon slamming both the door and the toilet lid shut, she wasted no time in beginning the frantic task of taking her clothes off, or at least her top, where the worst of her discomfort was. She hatefully hurled her blazer onto the floor, quietly relishing the whipping sound it made as it collided with the toilet before hooking her fingers onto the bottom of her blouse and pulling them upward.

"Ahhhhhh!" she sighed as she felt the air pour over her breasts the second the fabric was pulled completely away from them. They bounced freely in the air once, large and proud, the nubs of their nipples standing tall and at attention, before settling down to a gentle jiggle and coming to a complete rest upon her chest.

"Mmmm," she murmured as she ran her hands over them, just to see for herself that they really were bare, really were free, the way she liked them to be. They were. So soft and warm and squishy, save for her nipples, which were hard and pointy enough to pop a balloon. Words could not describe how much she loved her breasts, loved to touch them, loved to be touched on them, by either human hands or the elements. It was good to have them out, good to have them exposed. It was like they could breathe, come alive, and enjoy life with her.

She wasn't as naked as she liked to be, but it was nevertheless the panacea she needed. The tension all around her dissipated like fog in the wind.

"Phew, thought I was going to die," she mumbled. "I wonder what that was all about?"

Now that Carol wasn't feeling so claustrophobic, she was able to think rationally again. Wearing clothing was always discomforting for her, but it never got that bad before. Was it because she hadn't had a naked streak that long or that...public in over twenty years? Or ever for that matter? Did she not give her body enough time to acclimate itself to clothing? Did the Zenrists in New Deastone have an effect on her?

The Zenrists. Just thinking about those nudist lesbian cultists made Carol sigh wistfully. It always came back to them. They got to enjoy such an unprecedented level of freedom, the likes of which she could only dream about. If I was Zenrist, this wouldn't be a problem. I could just come into the office naked as the day I was born. I wouldn't have to worry about dressing right, dressing neatly, or getting dressed at all.

She looked down at her bare boob and squeezed it tenderly. I could let my girls jiggle and bounce all they liked. I could even play with them all I liked! That thought brought a smile to her face and prompted her to flick her nipple around playfully. The feeling was good, it was arousing, and more than anything else, it was strangely calming. The fact that she could find time in the day to pleasure herself slightly like this seemed to fill her with a sense of peace. Much like how she imagined the Zenrists felt when they pleasured themselves, knowing they were fulfilling their purpose to Almighty Zenriah.

But I can't ever be one. I can't believe in the Goddess like they do.

Carol's smile melted into a frown. Here she was, a nudist, an exhibitionist, a woman who hated clothes, who would gladly shuck them off forever if she could, but was doomed to spend eternity stuck within them. All because she was not a religious woman. The Zenrists got to run around naked all the time, and she had to hide in a bathroom just to enjoy a moment of relief. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all.

There's nothing I can do about that though, she thought with a sad shake of her head. So there's no point in even thinking about it. I need to focus on what really matters: my job.

Yes, her job. Which she had to get back to sooner rather than later, and hopefully without having another freak-out. So with a heavy heart, Carol picked her blouse up off the floor and slipped it over her chest, almost wincing in pain as she felt her boobs get smothered in the hated fabric once more. Her blazer quickly followed. After taking a moment to primp her hair in front of the mirror and make sure she was tidy, the wannabe nudist exited the bathroom, intent to put every thought about Zenrism and nudity behind her.

Unfortunately, she didn't walk two steps out before the thoughts returned in full force when a girl holding a stack of papers nearly crashed into her. "Oh, excuse me!" the girl whimpered as she stumbled in place, tightening her grip on the sheets to keep them from flying in every conceivable direction.

Carol took a look at her. She was a pretty young thing, likely an intern still in college, with chestnut hair tied back in a ponytail, and wearing a pair of glasses that made her look younger and more innocent than she actually was, an effect that was only further heightened by the nervous demeanor she was exhibiting through her wide startled eyes and shaking hands.

"Oh, uh...it's no bother," Carol mumbled apologetically as she took a step back to allow the girl to continue on her way. "Don't mind me."

The intern nodded and did just that, but Carol didn't let her out of her sight. She turned her gaze to watch her go, taking note of the innocent flower's hips that she knew were swaying deliciously under that business skirt of hers.

If I was a Zenrist...then I could just pick her up and have my way with her. I could just tear her clothes off, see what she's like under there, completely devour her...

She could already imagine how the encounter would go. She would approach the tiny little girl with her completely naked body, walking with just the right swagger that would leave the intern absolutely star-struck. Then Carol would scoop her up in her strong arms, carry her to her desk like a bride, rip her clothes off until she had only what her parents gave her, and trib her brains out. Carol would mash her clit into hers, press her boobs into the intern's face, make her suck and worship her nipples like they were the Goddess' themselves. And then the two of them would cum. All over the desk, on the floor. And everyone would watch. It was enough to make Carol lick her lips hungrily.

But with her fantasy came another uncomfortable realization. Once more, it reminded her that she was not a Zenrist. She was an ordinary woman, and she had to wear clothes. And the clothes she was wearing were starting to close in around her again.

Carol gulped. It was just like she thought it would be when she woke up this morning; this was going to be a bad day.

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: The Art of Losing

Last week, @redphlox, @sojustifiable and @soundofez stopped in to talk about their 2016 Resbang, The Art of Losing! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: What is your fav scene, to write or just based on how it turned out! 

redphlox: I def had fun writing the climax, it was so much drama and I. love. writing. drama. I'm happiest with that. I also really enjoyed writing the middle section, where Soul and Maka are traveling, because i got to build their relationship in small scenes. It was fun to write a scene and realize it could lead to something else. It blossomed.

Q: Amanda and fez, you both did some really cool unique art! What made you wanna work in those mediums and how did you decide what scenes or subjects you wanted to art?

Amanda: Last year my default position was that I wanted to write music because I wasn't as experienced with visual art and I love writing songs based on stories and I definitely decided to stick with that for Julie's because she has a really poetic style that made for good lyric mining. And then for my other piece, marsh had sent me a bunch of cool art supplies and I wanted to try them out so I decided to do some work with pastels.

fez: I had enough Resbangs that I wanted to do something different for each one? And I'd been wanting to animate lately and I knew I could find gifs to trace from Anastasia so that helped. The third gif tho... so the night before post day I felt like I hadn't really done enough with the Fic Itself, all I really did was trace movie gifs and idk, I wanted to actually have scenes from the fic. So I started skimming and looking for things to sketch and then I came across one particular line that inspired my third gif and... that one took over lmao rip.

Q: What made you inspired to write an Anastasia AU?

redphlox: I was watching the movie and I thought "Imagine Soul in Dimitri's outfit" and it snowballed from there! I also love Anya and Dimitri's relationship, they have a lot of sass at first and grow to like each other, and I saw a lot of SoMa in them.

Q: Amanda/fez, do you feel like you grew in ur arting skillz from this Resbang, and how so? Same for you and writing, Julie.

fez: I learned that animating hair is stupidly difficult hahah. But yes, I definitely learned things about animating (namely how it takes a suuuuuper long time) and it made me appreciate animation so much more.

Amanda: Every time I write a song it definitely gets easier and I can rely more on motivation than waiting for raw inspiration.

redphlox: Hmm I felt like I grew in the plotting department. Style-wise, I learned I change styles a lot, and finding my voice for this fic was incredibly hard at first. It took 3 months to iron out the beginning because of these things, but the rest flowed after I found something I could own. I also learned to write faster and to be more disciplined. I committed to doing 1k a day to trudge through the difficult parts, and on days where I felt inspired I did a lot more than that.

Q: What was the hardest scene to write?

redphlox: Lord, the hardest was the beginning, for plotting reasons. I kept writing and deleting and adding characters and deleting them, it was awful. Overall I think the opening scene gave me more hell than it should have because I couldn't decide how I wanted Soul and Maka's relationship to start.

Q: What kinds of things did you do to find the voice and tone for the fic? Are there any writing rituals you have?

redphlox: I have to find a song that puts me in the feel of the scene I'm writing and I listen to it on repeat the whole time, haha. And to get myself pumped up, I read a lot of good writing that I admire.

Q: Do you do playlists for each fic?

redphlox: I listen to the same songs when I write, tbh. I listened to "4 page letter" by Aaliyah a LOT for this fic. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2maiIc_LACs). The lyrics don't fit the fic but I love the emotion behind Aaliyah's song, and her voice is beautiful. The longing is real, and that's what I wanted Soul and Maka's relationship to lead up to. I also listened to this song over and over again: https://youtu.be/bs2VL_HYG9Y.

Q: What inspired Maka's parents story for you, if anything? I know that that was an interesting subplot that I was not expecting when I read it!

redphlox: I wanted to stick to canon, but I also wanted to borrow from the movie, haha. So Spirit and his wife not having the best relationship comes from the manga, and everything else was a sprinkle from the movie. I was just trying to make everything plausible and it turned out into this subplot xD. All the little bits of what Maka COULD remember had to make sense in the end so I had to think and think and think.

Q: The jazz scene was one of my faves, and one that didn't really have a movie parallel. Was that a scene that you knew to write from the beginning, or did it pop up on its own?

redphlox: That scene literally popped up on its own. It was one of those that bloomed because of the previous scene. I also wanted to address Soul's love/hate relationship with music and extend the metaphor of Maka being able to see things around her, and that included Soul.

Q: Did you do any research to nail the period? Same question to all.

fez: Julie gave us clothing references ;v; I... really didn't do any research.

redphlox: Oh yeahhhh. I know the movie is set in the 1920s-ish and I wanted my fic to be vague time-period wise so that I didn't have to commit to too many intricate details, but I did look up clothing references for Amanda and fez. And I had to research transporation methods for that time period, because Soul and Maka spent so much time doing that. I wanted to be subtle, but not entirely inaccurate. Idk how many times I googled "1920s women’s fashion" in different words.

Q: What are you most proud of?

redphlox: I'm most proud of how much I wrote in so little time. I lost 3 months agonizing over my writing style and the opening scene. I don't think I got the beginning down until after second author check-ins. So when it just clicked, I cranked out 13k one week, 10k the next, and 5k in one day :0 It was insane. I'm also really proud of chapters 5-8 because everything was piling up for the characters and I introduced Spirit and Wes, and tension were running high between Soul and Maka. I can't tell you how much I love to make them suffer.

Q: I loved the part where Soul is like "WAIT WHAT BOY" when she "remembers" him when they're in the train. Did you pull from anything specific to get those emotions across?

redphlox: Ahhh I pulled from those depression feels of inadequacy LOL. He was just touched that he had an impact on her, bc the time they had together was v little. ;-;

Q: Did you watch the movie a lot? I really love how you managed to capture the feel of it while staying true to the spirit of the SE characters. How did you manage to walk that line so well?

redphlox: Ahh, I watched it the first time when I decided to write it, and then I watched it with fez at her house, and I watched it again when I was at my most frustrated with writing. Anddd I love that movie so much, it's one of my favorites, and I wanted to do it justice. I wanted to capture its feeling, because it's so beautiful and nostalgic. I didn't want to take everything from the movie, because some of it didn't fit the characters. Like, I couldn't see Soul trying to con someone for their money, like Dimitri did in the movie, but I could def see Spirit heartbroken but hopeful of seeing his daughter come back one day, even if it was stupid.

Q: Did you have any beta comments Julie that you particularly liked/thought were funny/encouraged you?

redphlox: All of bendandcurl's comments were super encouraging and insightful, and anytime Proma gave me a thumbs up on something I did feel like a proud student. Because my fic was more of a serious drama than fluff there weren't any funny comments besides the occasional gif during a serious moment in the fic.

Q: Okay but. Anya. Did you consider having her make an appearance?

redphlox: Oh I did! I had originally written Anya coming into the bakery to meet Soul in the very beginning to talk about their thing but leave after he didn't show up. That way later, when the truth was revealed, Maka could've had a lightbulb OH moment. But then I decided against it and left Anya as a background character.

Q: fez, I wanted to ask why you liked the spirit and maka gif so much, what inspired you to pick that scene?

fez: Ahhhh I have a lot of family feels, so when I saw the twirlies I... I wanted it. Maka's pigtails made me suffer but in the end it was worth it.

Q: What was [everyone's] favorite part about collaborating?

Amanda: Oo well first of all I was excited to work with fez and Julie because they are both gr8 and I had no idea Julie was writing it, so it was a really fun surprise, and then also a perfect fic to write a song for because Julie has so many good phrases to pull for lyrics.

fez: I also flipped out when I found out I'd be working with Julie and Amanda ;v; probably I had the most fun throwing my WIPs around ahah;;

redphlox: I was so stunned when I saw that Amanda picked mine, and that multiplied when fez joined. :0 It was a wild ride, and seeing their progress on their art was phenomenal like, they truly brought it to life and I'm so grateful for their hard work. I'm happy with it, it was a good team.